For those who could use some group support, she and another Mom/Coach have launched a hybrid Mom’s Coaching and Networking group in five Denver locations.  The groups meet monthly and provide Mom’s with expert, helpful information on mastering the elusive parenting/work balance equation.  Brenda’s work is flexible, based in both personal and professional experience and grounded in reality (she gets it people, she is a Mom who has been in several different roles regarding work since becoming a mother!).  Any Mom is welcome to attend their first group for free.

Check it out the book and get more information about the groups at her website,  http://www.whatsyourlane.com/

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Regardless of your parenting style or the age of your child, the book is very interesting.  I didn’t get to it until my daughter was well past the baby years, but there are still elements that I aspired to include more in my life as a parent.  I was especially interested in the idea of combining firm boundaries with lots of free choice, the joys of setting up adult/couple time and, of course, any tips on increasing vegetable consumption.  Other things didn’t interest me as much, for example the super strict French approach to only eating 3 main meals didn’t really work so much for me, my daughter, or our blood sugar.  Overall, Ms. Druckerman combines her personal journey of marriage and parenting with enough research, on both the French and the Americans, to make her book enjoyable but useful, like a novel in its writing, but scientific in its conclusions.

Enjoy!
~ Dr. Carrie

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Each week I sit down to write this blog in hopes of offering a nugget of wisdom to help people approach life differently particularly when challenges arise, if even just one person (though if it were hundreds of thousands that would be pretty cool). I’ve been told I give good advice and I, of course, hope that is true. Well, guess what? Sometimes, instead of giving advice, I need to take it. That’s right, sometimes I forget to take my own advice.  This week I was reminded to walk the talk.

Believe it or not, last week I found myself in the full throws of a tantrum. I know… as a fully grown, responsible adult, it seems a bit unusual, silly really, for me to be having a meltdown. But there I was, in major meltdown mode. See, things weren’t going my way and I really wanted them to be going my way.  This was after several weeks (6 weeks actually, but who’s counting?) of things not going my way. I’m talking about problems in most arenas of my life; home, work, illness, my child, balance, stress, health, you name it.  In the moment when the problems arose, they felt very big, very frustrating, very out of my control, and, most of all, not what I wanted to happen.  After 6 weeks of feeling hit by issues, stressors and problems, I was feeling pretty depleted, and all I wanted was a normal week of work.  Instead, my daughter got the stomach flu.

My initial reaction was, of course, to feel horribly for the poor kiddo, but as soon as she was set up on the couch, I moved pretty quickly into feeling extremely sorry for myself. I wallowed and whined, gnashed my teeth and started yelling at the Universe. Tantrum time. I was taking personally things that didn’t have anything to do with me, resisting things that are normal life occurrences, even if they are happening 6 weeks in a row. I was STUCK. I was stuck focusing on my desires instead of flowing with what life was actually delivering to me. In that moment, I realized I was by myself in my home office instead of being with my kid when she needed me. Wrong move, right?!

It took me a few minutes to become aware of my actions, to acknowledge the breakdown, and to implement an immediate change in my behavior. I had a choice before me:  I could continue with my tantrum, or I could accept the situation and return to better functioning, remembering what was really important (HINT: it’s not me!). In short, I needed to walk the talk. I got up and dusted myself off, and settled into the great honor of caring for my very special little person. You know what? In that moment I felt a huge sense of relief!

As always, thanks for reading. ~ Dr. Carrie

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I believe it was famed British artist, poet, writer and textile designer William Morris who said you should only have things in your house you believe to be either beautiful or useful.  Boy was he on to something!  When was the last time you were able to look around your space and really savor the items in it, either for their incredible practicality, or their beauty?

If you are designed like most of us, things lose their luster over time.  You become accustomed to the things in your home (and in your life in general), and they become less noticeable over time.  That means those new jeans you bought will not seem so wonderful the 27th time you wear them, or the amazing painting you bought at the street fair becomes just another thing on the wall.  Similarly, the basics become less important, that is, until they break or don’t work.  So you may not appreciate your garage door opener until the battery runs out, or you may forget how cool it is to have  the choice of bathtub or shower until your drain doesn’t plug when you really, really wanted to take a long bath.

How do you remedy this problem of not truly seeing what you have?  Well, I suggest choosing one room per week in your home and spending some time examining the things in it.  What is useful?  Beautiful?  What still amazes you when you take the time to admire it?  Toss anything broken, donate anything outdated or no longer your style.  Anything just plain ugly?  You have my permission to shed it from your life!  It is a great process to re-examine, re-assess, and re-new your life, from both an external and an internal perspective.  Don’t be afraid to let go, beautiful or useful is what you get to keep!

As always, thanks for reading. ~ Dr. Carrie

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This month we have TWO partners of the month! I figure for a month dedicated to spring cleaning and home related issues, we could use as many resources as I could muster!  Let me introduce you to two of my favorite colleagues/friends in the home business, Paul Aceto and Alan Wyngarden. The first, realtor Paul Aceto, can help you find your dream home. The second, mortgage broker Alan Wyngarden, can help you finance that dream home when you find it!  When I spoke with both of them about current conditions, especially in Colorado right now, they both emphasized that it is a great time to buy, if you are in the market.

Paul Aceto specializes in working with buyers and sellers throughout the Metro area, and especially specializes in the neighborhoods of Crestmoor Park, Hilltop, Virginia Vale, Washington Park, Congress Park, DU and Cory Merrill. He reports this is an appreciating market, with demand outstripping supply, making things especially favorable for sellers.  However, he believes this is also a great time to buy, because it is possible to get into something before prices go up. Paul can be reached at his office 303-579-4611, by email at paul@paulaceto.com, or you can feel free to visit his website at www.paulaceto.com.  He is a great guy, and an excellent realtor and I recommend him highly!

Alan Wyngarden also talked to me about what it is like to be buying right now. Alan serves Colorado, but his company extends through 18 states, to offer competitive mortgage rates, offered at a high level of personalized service. Alan talked to me about interest rates, which are within a quarter point of a 50 year low! He suggests now is a great time to buy before rates rise again. One of the things I appreciate about Alan is his attention to detail, and his deep interest in helping people get their needs met, while making the complicated world of money lending as easy as possible. Alan can be reached at 303-905-1420, via email at alan.wyngarden@novahomeloans.com or on his website: http://www.novahomeloans.com/alan.wyngarden

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Here is how this works.  Basically, we have a ton of things running in the background;  temperature control, breath, hunger, digestion, flexion of muscles, comfort levels, and a bunch of other things we don’t spend much time thinking about until they are a problem.  Basic functioning is just that, basic and functioning automatically, unless there is some major distress signal.  For example, ever been underwater just a tiny bit too long?  Breathing, which we often take for granted, becomes VERY important when we are suddenly struggling for air, right?!   It makes sense for those “programs” to run in the background, let’s keep them there.

The other “programs” running are ones we have more control over.  These are the helpful and less helpful thoughts we focus on; the relationships we agonize over, the email you CAN’T BELIEVE your boss sent you today, the panic about being late to an interview, the frustration in traffic… all the extra things we think about, feel, and interact with on a daily basis.  The helpful or nice thoughts — strategic planning for the future, wanted emotions, your to-do list, things like this — are “programs” we WANT “on.”  What is less helpful to leave “on” and running are all the negative or unproductive thoughts and feelings we run unnecessarily, even though they don’t help us one bit.  Feeling lousy about yourself?  That switch is running!  Hate your body?  On too.  Totally anxious?  That is also running.

Time to shut off some switches.  Here’s how…

The next time you find yourself running an unproductive program (thought, feeling) simply think about turning that switch OFF.  Visualize the room of toggle switches and imagine yourself flipping the switch that isn’t leading you anywhere into the OFF position.  That’s right, move the switch from “on” to “off.”  Hear the click of the switch turning off, feel the switch moving down into the off position in your hand.  Then, this is an important step, breathe in the relief of turning off programs, thoughts and feelings that don’t serve you.  Repeat as needed.  Clean your brain!

~ Dr. Carrie

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When I choose a book, particularly when I am in an independent bookstore with a cup of tea in my hand, browsing, I tend to “feel” my way into my next great read.  Shaffer’s book ”felt” right on several accounts.  First, I was excited to support this darling little bookstore Next Page Books in Frisco, Colorado on a much needed weekend mini-vacation.  Second, I was looking for something a little different.  I was tired of dramas, but wanted a more literary option than a generic mass market mystery.  I was intrigued by the writing of a novel through the medium of letters.  (Literally, the entire book is a collection of letters between the characters, no narration or back story, neat concept!)  Finally, I wanted something on the uplifting side to counter some life stresses I have been navigating lately.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society was new, hopeful and interesting, all things I associate with spring time and with the idea of spring cleaning… get the cobwebs out and fresh energy in!  I have been stuck in a pattern of reading mostly psychology and self-help books (go figure!) and this read truly felt like it helped clear the cobwebs, so to speak, of the typical books I had been reading. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society offered me a different perspective and isn’t that the beauty of the change of seasons and all the revitalized energy that comes with it?

Positive, interesting, and well written, with a fascinating story looking at a remarkable time period.  I highly suggest it!  Happy Spring!

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Whatever the reasoning, it does seem to be a time-honored tradition to clean up, clear out and freshen up our lives around this time of year. One of the great benefits to cleaning your external environment is the boost to your internal environment. Our living spaces, desks, cars, and other “external environments” often mirror our “internal environments” made up of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. As a matter of fact, this is one of the first questions I ask clients, particularly if they report feeling overwhelmed, scattered or disorganized.

So take a peek around your life. Is there clutter you haven’t attended to, things you have let pile up, messes, broken items or outdated pieces? Any things you know need to put away but keep putting off? I am not suggesting white glove, sterile, everything-in-its-place-at-all-times rigidity, but I do suggest taking the time to organize, clean up, discard the old. Take a moment to freshen up the look, feel and energy of your various environments including home, car, and workplace. Neaten up your space and I bet you’ll find it gives you a little emotional boost. So simple yet so effective!

Thanks for reading ~ Dr. Carrie

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I got to go just last week, happily taking a day off of work to accompany my child’s class to a YMCA ranch up in the Colorado Mountains. The weather was incredible, a true “blue bird” day with just the right amount of snow, lots of sunshine and no wind. In short, a terrific day for a bunch of 8 year olds, their teachers and the parent chaperones to learn how to cross country ski!

So what happens when people don’t know how to do something or need to learn how to do something new? Well, for most of us, we resist the learning curve. We get scared and hesitate. We want our comfort zone. I know I thought, more than once, about bringing my snowshoes. After all, I know how to snowshoe really, really well. It is super easy (if you can walk, you can snowshoe) and I’ve been doing it for years! I had no idea how to cross country ski, and was tempted to bail on the learning and do what I’ve usually done. At the last minute I made myself leave my snowshoes at home, figuring if my kid was going to try something new, I should too.

So there we were, grownups and kids alike, clueless and getting started with something new. Some took to it like they were born on skis. Others had a little trouble. Some had trouble but laughed it off, all day, and had a blast even though they fell over and over.  Some struggled, resisted falling and got a little overwhelmed and stuck. But everyone made it all the way to the end. Everyone felt the fear of the unknown and did it anyway. It was beautiful. 

What have you been afraid of trying? Any interest in pushing yourself this week? Just pick something new and give it a try. Have some fun learning something new, something you aren’t good at already. Enjoy! ~ Dr. Carrie

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Chuck’s company, The Crankset Group, provides outcome-based mentoring and peer advisory for business owners worldwide. He is also a regular convention speaker, magazine contributor, and non-profit board member. His book, “Making Money is Killing Your Business,” offers a fantastic way to think differently about how you approach business ownership and management. In it, he encourages a values based perspective with long range focus on why success is important, not just from a financial perspective, but from a making a difference in the world perspective. If that isn’t enough to entice you, his book was named #1 Business Book of the Year by the National Federation of Independent Businesses (NFIB)!

Chuck is working hard to live out his own “big why” and has made appearances in Kenya, DR Congo, Ireland, Canada, New Zealand, and across the US. His recent print and online appearances include Harvard Business Journal, Entrepreneur Magazine, CNNMoney.com, NYTimes.com. He was even cited in Dr. Stephen Covey’s last book, The 3rd Alternative.

Check out his blog at http://ChuckBlakeman.com or engage him as a speaker or workshop leader at http://ChuckBlakeman.com/bio.

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